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Letter To The Editor: Time Los Alamos Bans All Food For Humans

on September 26, 2017 - 7:32am
Los Alamos
I think it time that Los Alamos ban all food for humans. We all know that most food offered here is, well, expensive, and of questionable quality anyway.
Everyone can periodically leave the hill for meals, and leave our money and waste food outside the county. Then we will have fewer bears, squirrels, deer, crows, etc. Cut down and burn all fruit trees, plow under all backyard crops, keep all pets on leash or indoors at all times.
If no one eats here, it is less of a burden to keep our rolling trash carts in the house so as not to allow any unpleasant smells outdoors.
The LA County Solid Waste Division will benefit by charging higher rates to pick up less trash less often. BTW – ever wonder if the inability to easily dispose of non-recycleable, unwanted items might be responsible for hoarding in the community? Doesn't everyone have strong friends with a big pickup to haul items to the dump during working hours?
We can institute appropriate punishment for anyone discovered eating food ON SITE. We are on a roll to distribute punishment liberally throughout the county so we'll just add eating to the list. If people eat food here, it might attract nature, and we can't allow that!
I'm being absurd, but it is time that we repair our streets, reduce the fixed costs of living here, and stop harrassing citizens of the community.